For my book report today, I am writing about books that are talking baskethoop. Baskethoop is popular sport on TV that many people enjoy. Also they have enjoyment wearing baskethoop fashions. The point of baskethoop is to take a ball and put it inside a hoop many times until a talent scout see you do it and makes you endorse Nike shoes and make one million of dollars and then you can drive by your old school in limousine real slow and yell “David Yarbo eats government cheese!” when you see him walking to his old car that is ugly. Many people hate David Yarbo and want to yell this at him so they sell their souls to Satan so they can put many more balls in hoops and this is subject of books, On the Devil's Court by Mr. Carl Deuker and Unnatural Talent by Mr. or Mrs. Les Logan. Join us, won’t you? To discuss Baskethoop Books.
Carl Deuker is man of many writing action sport stories like Gym Candy, Night Poops, and Fart of a Champion. But On the Devil's Court is first book for Deuker about baskethoop and he aim it at young teen who are tempt to sell their soul to Satanics for baskethoop power. Never again would he put Satan in his many book, which may be why he teaches high school in the Northshore School District outside of Seattle. Satan is a popular character in many book and make every book in which he appear a bestseller. No bestseller for Deuker.
On the Devil's Court about a boy name Joe Faust who move to new place to go to high school and say, "There are two things that I’m ashamed of. The first is that I agreed to sell my soul to the devil. But I’ll go into that later. The second is that I’ve always gone to a private school." Private school is pretty good and Joe will get good SAT there but really Joe want to play baskethoop and no one who go to private school is any good at baskethoops. Joe's father went to private school and he suck at baskethoop. He is good at genetic engineer though and want Joe to be good at SAT but Joe say NO he say NO DAD YOU ARE STUPID I WILL PLAY BASKETHOOPS AND GET ENDORSEMENT DEAL AND THEN DRIVE BY SCHOOL REAL SLOW AND SHOUT OUT MY LIMOUSINE "DAVID YARBO SMELLS LIKE CAT ASS!"
Then Joe play baskethoop but coach Mr. Raible make him play JV baskethoop. Joe is sad to play baby sport and he break into building and shoot baskethoop all alone with new ball he find. He talk much of how new ball smell good. Then there is a mist. Joe think, "I will sell soul because am not using it anyway if I can have one season of good baskethoop shooting and then tell David Yarbro that he is garbage mouth." After this, Joe shoot great baskethoop even though he not required to sign letter or contract or even Nike endorsement deal or anything by Satanic.
Joe baskethooping so good that his team become hero team. But there is problem because Joe give interview to magazine about his Dad work with genes and his mom job painting naked men in secret room inside house. This make Faust family unpopular and friends burn cross on their front yard. Joe is sad. Also, he is scary that his baskethooping is so good. Did he sell his soul to Devil? Unclear. Then his coach make them play team of African-American player and says their strategy should be to make other team unhappy because "Black people don’t come back once you get them down. History proves it. I’m not being a racist and I’m not saying that blacks don’t have good qualities. I’m just saying that they’ll give up now that they’re behind.”
Maybe he is being racist? Just a little?
Coach racism trouble Joe but then Joe team win game. Then his dad has heart attack and then he is better and he say JOE I AM SORRY I DOUBT YOU I HOPE YOU PLAY THE BASKETHOOP FOREVER AND THEN WE WILL GO TO DAVID YARBO HOUSE AND BURN IT DOWN AS FATHER SON TOGETHERNESS ACTIVITY.
In the end, Joe does not know if he sold his soul to Satan or not but probably not. Maybe? But coach is definitely still a racist.
Unnatural Talent is different book about boy who does not like father but who also sell his soul to Satan for baskethooping power. In Devil Court Mr. Carl Deuker write about baskethoop game that go for 8 or 9 page, sometime 11, while Unnatural Talent game only last 2 or 3 page. Also this book is about Andrew who is dummy and cannot play baskethoop good even though his father is top baskethooper coacher and move to the new school to become its baskethooping coach because he think that their baskethooping team is very bad and that is perfect place for idiot son to look like good baskethoop player is on bad team.
But stupid Andrew cannot even play baskethoop on this team and also does not know when girl wants to take him to secret place and lick him all over his face. When girl try, he just act dumb. Dum-Dum Andrew finds old house where African-American lady sell him book about wishes coming true. Andrew read book and then very pretty girl appear named Angela. She is not an ambiguous mist like in Devil's Court but instead make it very clear she want to lick Andrew face. But then Andrew lets her and she turns into African-American lady with pus dripping off her and he scream a lot. But still let her lick his face. He say it is because she is too strong for him to run away but I think he do not try very hard.
But he gets good at baskethoop! His dad say, ANDREW YOU ARE FINALLY GOOD SON AND I LIKE YOU NOW AND DO NOT WISH YOU DIED IN THE WOMB AT ALL but then Andrew go on date with girl and say LET'S GET DRUNK and BLOW DOPE and then he tries to touch her boob with no permission. Bad, Andrew! Bad! Dad and friend from college bring minister to house and Andrew bite minister in hand and tear door off hinge and run away. Bad, Andrew! Bad! Girl that Andrew bad-touched took picture of baskethoop game and in picture Andrew has ugly face so everyone decide he either need microdermabrasion or exorcism. Since exorcism is free: LET'S GO EXORCISM!
Exorcism go on all night and day but last shorter than baskethoop game, only a few page! Disappoint! But in end, Andrew is okay and dad blame self for all problem and it turn out that girl is still interest in licking Andrew face and he is okay at basketball so one day he might get to go to church where David Yarbo is getting married and stand up and say DAVID YARBO HAS THREE BUTT CHEEK THAT ALL SMELL LIKE TRASH CHICKEN!
That is my book report. Thank you.
