Monthly Archives: December 2010
He’s Usually Not Like This
- Oh, my god! I’m so sorry! He’s usually not like this with strangers. He’s always been so good! – Here, let me get this leash back on him. Bad! Bad! You take it off for one second and boom! … Continue reading
Get on board the Blog Train!
I’m participating in the December Blog Train over at Absolute Write and this month’s theme is 25-word “Hint Fiction.” It’s supposed to hint at a larger story or issue but not reveal what it is. I’m not entirely sure what … Continue reading
A Christmas Story
“Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” I said, handing a wrapped present to my wife. “You shouldn’t have,” she said. “Go ahead and open it.” “No, I mean you really shouldn’t have. You’re not allowed within 300 feet of me.” “If you’re not … Continue reading
Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark
I recently came across a Playbill for the cursed Spider-Man musical. I have scanned portions of it here for your viewing enjoyment and now I am going to burn it so that its curse doesn’t cause me to fall off … Continue reading
South Carolina Celebrates Secession
(Originally written for Slate, this piece got cut due to the holiday madness. Here it is, a tribute to my home state on the 150th anniversary of its secession.) South Carolina is known for a lot of things. It’s the … Continue reading
The Park is Mine, Mine, Mine!
It’s absolutely astounding that I was never flagged as a school shooter when I was a teenager. I didn’t carry guns around but I had two danger signs flashing over my head like big neon signs: I owned a black … Continue reading
Horror Birds of Monster Island
Biology is disgusting, and it is always discovering awful new lifeforms (Arsenic-eating bacteria! Slime molds! The Irish!) but the latest discoveries from Indonesia are nothing more than a publicity stunt by the Syfy Network to promote their latest original movie: … Continue reading
The Dune that Never Was
Plenty of people like David Lynch’s DUNE but for me the world’s greatest movie is one that was never shot, Alejandro Jodorowsky‘s DUNE. You can read Jodorowsky’s own account of the complete and total flame-out of his project-that-never-was, but allow … Continue reading
NSS: Mesmerized
(Welcome to the NSS: Netflix Streaming Safari. A trip into the bowels of Netflix’s Watch Instantly streaming movies library. On this journey you will see things that will shock you. Things that will please you. And things that will haunt … Continue reading
Tenure Track
I went to nerd camp (read: Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Workshop) back in 2009 and my absolute favorite story written there was Ken Schneyer’s “Tenure Track.” Told completely with documents, receipts, pages from course catalogs and government forms, … Continue reading
